Dear Makeover Artist, do your painting but maintain the looks

By: JB Mairubutu

Dear MakeOver Artist,

How are you? And, ‘how market?’ I am writing this letter with a twinge of both pain and anguish. This is, really, not supposed to be a friendly letter. I am, glaringly unhappy with you. I wish you can see my face right now, it can burn a litmus paper and set you ablaze. I know painting, drawing and sketching faces of our ladies is business to you. But do you realize that you are making cash at the expense of our happiness? Do you get an orgasmic feeling realizing that you are ruining more than you are mending or beautifying?

You are creative, I applaud you for that but your creativity has left us gnawing in deceit. A lot of ladies are now exes,unfortunately, and you are responsible. I’d clearly state my points in an organized thought:

1) Remember I talked about sending deceit to claw at us? The ‘us’ here refers to the guys or male folks. You have led us to the wrong choice. Why are you twitching your mouth to the other end? Let me explain what I mean. For instance, this young man sights this out -of- the -world -beauty and asks for her love.

The first thing that charms him is her looks. Men are moved by what they see, ‘na our nature bi dat’. The lady, in turn, takes advantage of the situation and quickly says a YES. Meanwhile, she knows that the beauty that catches his senses is fake; your art work. After bathing the beauty goes off with the trickling water- the beauty is jaded and gone. The man is left disappointed, flees and makes her an ex. At the end she is hurt and ends up cursing, but is he to be blamed?

2) This is, also, pathetic – very pathetic. Are you aware that you cause confusion even in heaven? Oh, you don’t know! Okay, sit, let me educate you. Those heavy make ups make angels confused when they are sent to deliver packages meant for this innocent ladies; your art work. God gives the angels an original picture of these ladies and tell them these are their faces go and give them my blessings. The angels come, roam and most cases pass the houses of these ladies whose original faces are muddled in tinted make over that gives them a photocopied look; some of them especially in Africa want to look Pseudo European. In tiredness and confusion these angels go back and tell God that it is either He hasn’t created them or they are gone to the other side already, dead. You make them miss their blessings!

My battery is almost out for this reason I have to put an end to this letter and might continue when the change the government promised us manifests.

Lastly, dear make over artist, I am not against your business o, but please try and do your paintings and still maintain the original look, ‘abeg!’. I am begging for the sanity of both humanity and divinity.

Thanks.

JB Mairubutu.